I’m having a struggle.
An identity struggle.
And sometimes a girl just needs to write things out.
WARNING: This blog might not make one lick of sense…and I. Don’t. Care.
What makes me, me? What drives me? What are my goals? What are my dreams? What is my objective here on earth?
I don’t know.
That’s the real, hard, honest truth. I don’t know.
Let me get this straight: I know my worth and I have TONS to live for. This is in no way me doubting life or existence. No. Way.
But what makes me different and unique? I feel like I’ve lost myself somewhere. I’ve killed myself trying to please everyone else.
CONFESSION: I care too much what people think about me.
I’ve spent a good portion of my life trying to change myself. I haven’t spent enough time enjoying who I am.
The value of identity of course is that so often with it comes purpose.
- Richard R. Grant
This post has no resolution. No epiphany.
I have no self discovery to end with.
I’m just writing it out…
2 comments
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March 17, 2010 at 9:34 am
rave.n
I attended a service this past Sunday that struck a chord with me because I’ve had this focus lately wondering where I should be focusing my time and energy. This post reminded me of that yet again.
The message said that God delights in using “nobodies from nowhere” and talked alot about Amos. The pastor’s points were that Amos was chosen to be used because of his:
* Heart for People
* Love for the Word of God
* Pure Heart
* Obedience
The kicker was is that although Amos wasn’t formally educated that God was preparing him thru his experiences, hurts/pains, and victories to minister to others.
So I guess the response is that I too wonder a lot about myself. Lately it’s mostly focused on where am I suppose to focus my energy and what treasures and talents in me should I be developing. I would hate to waste time on something that is so not crucial while missing out on the important things.
A’ight. That’s all.
Thank you for sharing.
March 17, 2010 at 5:58 pm
alece
i care too much what people think about me, too. FAR too much.
thank you for posting your raw thoughts even when you can’t neatly wrap them up in a bow. i value your authenticity.